Five things I have learned about Brazil in five days:
- Be careful when you go to a bar where they give you a credit card to charge your drinks. This is most likely a trap. Also, the bouncers do not take kindly to gringos who do not realize said bar is a trap and don’t bring enough money to cover the exorbitant bill. This will make for a very awkward cab ride back to the hostel to get funds to cover the $10 beers, and a generous “tip” to cover the pain and hardship incurred by our new 300 lb. bald and slightly cross eyed friend.
- Making out in public is nearly compulsory for any couple under the age of 35.
- Cachaça is an evil liquid designed by some madman for the express purpose of making people lose they’re minds and and personal effects.
- You can drink the water but it tastes like feet.
- Rio is a the most beautiful bar tender you have ever laid eyes on and a bank account vampire.